Today, and like other days, we are going to keep it real. Miss Independent Blog is dedicated to creating a platform where my audience can take a break from the corporate politics. No pretending. No putting up a strong face. Just facts, raw feelings and acknowledging how we truly see ourselves at this point of our careers.
Do you feel like your career is messed up? If YES, then you are in luck. Here is a bullshit free blog post for you. I know I don’t use curse words on my blog, but I feel the word “bullshit” was necessary to drive the point home. The corporate world is full of politics and constant analysis of colleagues you can or can’t trust. In order to break from what can end up being a toxic experience, I am going to be a blogger you can trust with your career.
First things first, I am not going to rush your healing or growth. If you feel your career is messed up, FEEL IT. My audience ranges from 18-30 year olds, which means there is another 30+ years to revamp your career. At 30 you can start all over again and MAKE IT HAPPEN. So I am not going to make you feel bad because you feel like your career is messed up, feelings are valid and we are going to acknowledge them on the blog today.
I have felt like my career was messed up. I cried and when I stopped crying, I developed anxiety. I would go home for Christmas expecting to magically be happy but there was something missing. Don’t get me wrong, being at home made a huge difference. I was comforted and extremely loved. Thing is, people can only give you so much joy, but they can’t give you what you need to give yourself – and that’s the piece I want to address on the blog today.
To compensate for my uninspiring feeling, I started investing in assets. I told myself that if I started building an empire, I would eventually start feeling more confident about my career. I bought very strategic shares and land, but sadly, the uninspiring feeling didn’t reduce. Even after knowing that I can sell my land double the amount I bought it at in less than 6 months, I still felt like my career was messed up. So what next?
My Brother encouraged me again to pursue My Masters. This is something he had always encouraged me to do but I didn’t follow through because my self-esteem was still pretty high. 2 years later things had changed and I needed to boost my self-esteem. I went online and searched for courses in Ireland and long-story short, I was accepted at Trinity Business School for a Masters in Digital Marketing Strategy. Just to put this into perspective, I paid $10,000 for my first year of fees hoping that I will eventually stop feeling like my career is messed up.
I hope that doesn’t come across like I am flossing, I just want to highlight how expensive self-esteem can cost. This is why plastic surgery doctors are cashing out like politicians. And for those thinking “you felt like your career is messed up yet you could afford to pay $10,000 for your fees?” – I will just say this – it’s not about the money and if you knew the full story, you wouldn’t judge me like that. I’m not ready to share the story yet, so for now, let’s work with what I’ve learnt from it.
Truth be told, my self-esteem increased with each day I went to school. I mean obviously I just didn’t go to school to only boost my self-esteem, it was a strategic course to compliment my job and what I want to pursue in future. When I started applying my course at work, I felt better than I was, and that began reducing the uninspiring feeling. Personally I am motivated by growth and school has tremendously increased my knowledge base in a way that continues to make me much better for my current and future roles.
Okay so self-esteem was steadily rising, what next?
I pressed pause on investments. I was saving but I decided not to think about what I was going to do with the money. School made me realize that investing in my brain was a much better choice in terms of boosting self-esteem because this was something I was consuming internally. I was investing in my self, in my brain. So I decided I needed to invest in my heart and emotional well-being. Investing in land, real state etc was now a distraction and I needed space to just do me.
It’s been about 3 months without having to think how to multiply my money and I have a learnt the following as a result:
- Screw it, enjoy Life: I learnt how to worry less about being financially secure. I am 25, I could literally start all over again and make even more money. I can do it, I am freaking Miss Independent, you know I can make money if I want to. When I went home about 2 weeks ago, I spent more than I have ever spent, yet this is the year I have made the least amount of money. I came to US with two suitcases, one with my clothes and the other one empty because I intend to splurge on new clothes, shoes and anything that tickles my fancy. I am not saying that I am now misusing my investment fund, no, I have already talked about how I save on my Youtube channel. Go watch it and you will understand why splurging doesn’t mean I won’t have money to invest. All I am saying is that I am not going to miss an opportunity to enjoy Life because I am investing. You are only in your 20s once, you better enjoy them!
- Instead of feeling like my career is messed up, no one can tell me anything: Talk about self-esteem that is about to win an Emmy! We allow dream killers to make us feel like trash yet the only thing we should allow them to do is to heal. Refuse to take their negative energy and pray for their healing. It’s important to first feel like no one can tell you anything! I consider it the first step of healing after a traumatic experience with dream killers. Dude, you are in control of your career 100% and unless you don’t believe in yourself, I don’t see why you should feel like your career is messed up.I also don’t think it’s possible to empower the right people if you can’t empower yourself first.The right people can’t help you if you can’t help yourself. Therefore, it’s time for you to start feeling like Kanye! Kanye-ing, issa plan!
- Take a humble seat and acknowledge you need help: No man is an island and sometimes Life will present tough challenges. I seek comfort in knowing God can’t give you what you can’t handle. Plus anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But here is the thing, there is a time to be Kanye and there is a time to ask for help. Rely on good people, trust me, they enjoy adding value in other people’s lives. Reach out to people who know more than you, acknowledge you don’t know anything and you are open to learn. I actually didn’t ask for help, it came to me. She is literally the best person I have met in my entire career, some people are truly God-sent. She taught me to continuously be okay with asking for help and relying on people, which can be something hard to learn especially after an encounter with dream killers who teach you not to trust anyone. There are good people out there, find them, and most importantly, be one!
- Emotional well-being and high self-esteem is important if you want to make money: I always thank low-self esteem Miss I for buying shares, land and taking us to school. Guess what, I just finished my first year of school and my course is ranked 13th best globally. Low-self esteem Miss I smashed it, she really tried given her circumstances. But high self esteem Miss I is back and y’all better be ready to call me “Miss Landlady at 26.” And no, I am not into real estate because I need to boost my self-esteem, but because I believe I am freaking badass and I can do awesome stuff! You need to believe in yourself first in order to make money, not the other way round. And if you have low-self esteem, go to school and once your self-esteem starts feeling better, try as much as possible to feel like Kanye until your believe in yourself.
While I am still in the same situation that made me feel like my career is messed up, I no longer feel like that. Funny enough God has been cracking me up. I am currently writing this blog post in a hotel room in California, Mountain View, United States of America. Wow, from writing blog posts in Kikuyu to writing blog posts in America’s most expensive city. When I was younger I thought I would be going to US when I am a powerful lady, but here I am completely unaware of what’s next for my career. It’s like God is telling me: “Those challenges are just a BTW. Stop thinking they are tough yet I have taken you to Nigeria, Kenya, US in the times you would describe as the toughest points of your career. Enjoy Life Esther, I got you, trust me.”
And as I trust God and in My Family’s encouraging words, I recognize that I should share my journey with my readers. It’s not easy being vulnerable like this publicly, so many concerns pop in my head when I think about the ill-intentioned people that will read this. Sometimes I worry that people won’t want to be associated with me because I share too much, and ironically I am doing it for the benefit of others but myself. But you have trust in God and He knows I am doing this with the best intentions. If being a good person presents challenges for me, I will just do me and get married to a person that will always understand this aspect about me.
I was reflecting with my Dad this morning and I want to end this blog post with a quote he shared with me! P.S My Dad is awesome, I just love him so much. He is literally my everything, like I don’t know how to explain. My Dad is the reason I am who I am. And then he married this awesome woman, My Mum, who I describe as My Life. My Mum is the reason why I cried when I encountered a dream killer, I felt sad that her daughter was being treated unfairly. I love myself more when I look at myself as My Mum’s daughter! Just writing this paragraph made me feel so much better. Learn to count your blessings and you will soon realize there is nothing to worry about.
Below are the last words the Late Dr.Geoffrey W. Griffin told his boys before he succumbed to colon cancer!